Holiday Hell

Things weren't so great anymore. Alexis and I were fighting all the time. He, Ashton, Savannah, and Alex visted me on Christmas night. It wasn't a secret meeting this time. They drove over and parked in my yard. Alexis refused to hug me. He grabbed my ass a few times. He messed around by tripping me, but he hardly spoke to me. It was awkward. Savannah and Alex were having relationship issues and both took off.

Ashton and Alexis went for a walk with me around my block. I had been hoping for a kiss. Alexis had his mind on more important matters. Alex called..Savannah dumped him and he was lost. I got a quick hug from both of them and then they were off. Alex threatened to commit suicide. Alexis and Ashton had to talk him out of it.

Later that night Alexis called me. We straightened out every problem we were currently facing. We were good, at least, that's what I thought. Two days later I ended up chilling with Ashton. According to what Alexis told her, we were broken up and were still friends. My heart pretty much stopped. The one guy I gave my first everything to dumped me...through my best friend.

He and Savannah came over. She had been at his house all day. He pulled me into a hug, so tight, that he actually picked me up off the ground. Savannah gave me a bear hug as well. I was suspicious, but didn't say anything. They left. I let me emotions unravel and I cried my eyes out. Ashton didn't mind. She tried to comfort me, but I was too hurt.

When I got home I sought out the comforte of another, my razor. Four lines were drawn straight across my left wrist. I wasn't attractive. I was a horrible kisser. I had too many issues. I had to face the facts.. I wasn't good enough for any guy to want me. I was broken and I couldn't be fixed.